A co-worker sent out an e-mail for an assignment yesterday, but added a twist. Next to each person on the list, attributed a saying, slogan or tall tale praising Derek Jeter, the joke being that Jeter is often adored/celebrated/defended by fans to the point of hagiography. This co-worker is not much for blogs or social media (he may be the last person of my generation I know who doesn't have a Facebook account, a Twitter account OR a blog -- not even a Tumblr or Instagram account), so I asked if I could borrow his list for a post here. All he asked was that I leave his name out of it. What follows is mostly his doing, though I omitted and altered a few that were inside office jokes.
So here then is The Jeterian Code, by a Co-Worker To Be Named Later. This list, of course, could be easily expanded. And neither the co-worker or I are claiming these are original ideas; maybe someone out there has uttered some of these before. But they were new to us.
- Columbus didn't discover America, Jeter did
- Zeus bows down before Jeter
- WWJD stands for "What Would Jeter Do?"
- Derek Jeter is the Keymaster
- A.D. is no longer Anno Domini, it's now After Derek
- Jeter's No. 2 is retired by all Nippon Professional Baseball clubs
- Jeter is ticklish behind his parietal lobe
- Dinosaurs were wiped off the earth by Jeter
- JetBlue is renamed to JeterBlue
- November shall now be known as Jetember
- Santa has a Naughty, Nice and Jeter list
- Jeter's birthday designated a galaxy-wide holidayJeter is the Keymaster
- When you search for Jeter in a lexicon, it says "See 'God'"
- No. 2 on calendars changed to the No. Jeter
- Jeter knows the way to San Jose
- The sun revolves around Jeter
- Jeter was the man standing in front of the tank at Tiananmen Square
- Jeter can read upside down
- Melky Cabrera tested positive for too much Jeter
- When Jeter retires, the Yanks will retire the position of SS
- Jeter is Luke's father
- DJ is a new element on the periodic table
Labels: Derek Jeter, New York, photos, Yankees